Well, Here Goes Everything

Whew! After a few days of being at the Alt Conference in Salt Lake City, I am settled back home in the beautiful Bay Area.

All in all, I had an amazing time in Salt Lake City. All of the sessions I went to were so insightful and informative, especially for a newbie like me. I couldn't help but soak it all in and want more. During the conference, I wrote some actionable steps I could take with my blogging, but once the conference was done, I felt scared. Uncertain. Doubtful.

I quickly realized after the closing keynote that I wasn't sad that it was over, I was TERRIFIED. Because now that all was said and done, I actually had to DO something.

I got back to my hotel room and thought, "Crap. What did I get myself into?" which was immediately followed by "I'm not ready for this" and "What am I doing?"

You know those thoughts?

Yah, THOSE thoughts. The kind that pop up out of nowhere. The kind that determine what your next move is. The kind that make or break you.

So, do you want to know what I did with those thoughts? I wrote them down.

I started with the WHY. Why am I scared? Why am I uncertain? Why am I doubtful?

At the risk of being vulnerable, here are my answers...

I am SCARED... because for the first time ever, I put Bright Side Jessica out there. Like, not just on Etsy or on my blog that not very many people read. I put Bright Side Jessica on a business card that I physically handed out to people. And not just any people – bloggers and entrepreneurs who I both admire and respect, many of whom have been in this business for years.

I am UNCERTAIN... because I don't have a clear path ahead of me. I want to blog and I want to sell products on Etsy. Is it possible to do both on top of already having a full-time job? I don't even really know what I want to blog about yet! How can I move forward if I don't even know that?!

I am DOUBTFUL... because I am intimidated... by the possibilities. The possibility of failure. The possibility of success. There are so many factors involved that could sway my path one way or another. What if I make the wrong decisions? What if this isn't for me?

As I sat on the bed in my hotel room and wrote all of those feelings down, I strangely started to feel at peace. It was as if a light went on in my head that turned my negative thoughts around.

Yes, I just put myself out there in a big way. Yes, I don't know how this all will turn out. Yes, this venture could fail. But... it could also be a success.

The point is... I don't have to have all of the answers right now. All I MUST do is take things one step at a time and relieve myself of all the pressure I dumped on my own shoulders.

This is about the journey, and I am as ready as I'll ever be for it. I have wonderful support here at home, and I have just gotten back from an amazing conference filled with an extremely supportive community that I now have the pleasure of being a part of. What more could I really ask for?

I hope what I've shared about my internal struggle encourages those of you who might've been feeling the same to not worry. Take it step by step, day by day.

Remember, you are capable of wonderful things.

Let's journey on the Bright Side together,